Harry Potter: Face–to–Face With an Adult's Destiny
by Batsutousai
Summary: DISCONTINUED! Fifth year is over, and Sirius is gone. Now Harry knows his destiny to kill, or be killed. How can Harry cope?
1. Tea with Mrs Figg

**Title:** Harry Potter: Face-to-Face With an Adult's Destiny

**Chapter Title:** "Tea with Mrs. Figg"

**Author:** Hitokiri Batsutousai

**Rating:** PG-13 - R(It's still undecided, actually. This chappie's about PG, but, knowing me, it'll hit R by the fourth chappie, so I'm upping the rating now)

**Pairings:** Wait and see. There is a slash/yaoi warning on this, though

**Summary:** Fifth year is over, and Sirius is gone. Now Harry knows his destiny; to kill, or be killed. How can Harry cope?

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It was so weird, having the Dursleys treat him so well. They'd even gone out and bought him a few sets of new clothing(much to Dudley's shock), a bribe to keep them on Harry's, and, in turn, "Mad-Eye" Moody's, good side. He'd been allowed to have his school stuff in his room again and was allowed to use Hedwig to send letters, even pushed to do so. After the first time Dudley had attempted to use Harry as a punching bag and been yelled at for it by his father, the fat boy had left the young wizard alone. All in all, it was turning out to be a very peaceful and different sort of summer for Harry Potter.

Oh, how Harry longed for the summers of abuse and worry long gone by. He almost begged for another dementor attack, or for Voldemort to come knocking. Even his homework hadn't lasted long enough to get him through the holiday and was already packed away in his trunk, long done. The boy would do anything to get him mind off the man who had died at the end of the past school year.

Sirius Black, Harry's godfather, was never to walk the earth again, and it bit at Harry again and again. It was all Bellatrix's fault, and she walked free. Yet, Harry couldn't help but blame himself, and, when he let himself disrespect the old wizard, Dumbledore. There was a lingering hate and anger boiling inside him, and it gave him an almost evil aura, which kept most people away from him.

Harry had come to learn to let the cool Slytherin within himself take over him, pushing the heartbroken Gryffindor to the back, letting it cry in peace, unseen. In Harry's mind, he'd have to kill to keep himself alive in the end anyway, might as well get used to death, since it seemed to follow him everywhere. His parents, Cedric, Sirius, all dead. All because of him. He was a murderer, no matter what others thought or said. He should have been put in Slytherin.

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The black-haired boy walked down Privet Drive silently. His black clothing, accompanied by his cold aura, seemed to suck up all happiness and light about him, like the dementors of his world. This boy didn't smile anymore, nope, not him. Once, long ago, he'd smiled when he through that the people who took care of him weren't looking at him. It appeared that the school he was rumored to go to(St. Brutus' Secure Center for Incurable Criminal Boys) had finally made it's mark on him. His Aunt Marge would be pleased.

But, back to the boy's looks. His emerald green eyes appeared as cold as an ancient stone sunk deep into the earth of his face. His once handsome face, like that of his father, James Potter, had become gaunt and haunted, rather more like that of Sirius Black, and was framed by hair like his godfather's, shoulder-length and sorely in need of a trim and a brush. His clothing hung on him much better than it once had, but it still seemed to dwarf him. A black short-sleeved tee with a silver skull shimmering across the front hung from slumped shoulders. Baggy jeans with rips that had been purposely made were held to slim hips with a red belt. Black wrist cuffs adorned his slim wrists.

His aunt and uncle hadn't been pleased with this choice of clothing or new trashy look, but Harry had threatened them with Moody's promise. They'd bought him the clothing, as well as other shirts and black jeans like it. He wondered sometimes what his two best friends, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, would see if they saw him now. He figured his parents and Sirius would be upset, but he was so depressed, that he didn't really care.

"Harry?" An old woman with semi-wild gray hair, Arabella Figg, called out to the somber boy from her front porch as he walked by her house. She'd often seen him out, but hadn't really tried to talk to him. But, he just looked so much like he needed someone to talk to who knew what had happened, which she'd heard from Dumbledore.

Harry glanced up at her hollowly. "Oh. Hullo, Mrs. Figg."

"You don't look too well, Harry. Why don't you come in for a spot of tea, hum?" Mrs. Figg offered.

Harry was tempted to turn her down, but the reminder than she, too, had constant contact with the Order of the Phoenix and could easily inform Remus Lupin, the Weasleys, or another caring Order member of his current state, gave him pause. The last thing he wanted was to be surrounded by the whole Order as they worried over him. He'd rather share a few moments of the old woman's company than have to put up with a dozen or more people all at once. He offered the Squib a feeble smile. "I would love to, Mrs. Figg. Thank you."

"Wonderful! I've so missed having a good tea partner!" Mrs. Figg stood and held the door open for Harry. "Come into the kitchen while I heat up some water, dear. There are some fresh cookies in that jar over there. Why don't you pull out a plate, you know where they are, and put some on it. There you are. Have one and sit down, dear. That's my boy." She spoke as she worked, watching Harry closely, trying to figure out what was wrong without asking him.

Harry settled at the table after putting the cookie jar back and took a cookie to nibble at. Mrs. Figg was a wonderful cook, especially when it came to cookies and cakes. He watched her work, humming, from behind his curtain of hair.

Once both were seated with large mugs of warm tea before them, Mrs. Figg started talking, picking up a cookie and watching Harry over it. "Well then, Harry. You seem so sad lately. Have those Muggles been getting you down again?"

"No..." Harry sighed and took a sip of his tea, which near burnt his tongue, but he didn't seem to notice. "They've been downright civil to me so far. Mad-Eye really got to them, I think."

"I see. Then you're thinking about Black instead?" It was obvious that she was well enough informed to Harry, who hadn't been so sure at first.

Harry stared down at his tea for a long moment. Sirius' face as he fell through the veil, into the world of death beyond, flashed before his eyes. "I couldn't do anything. He just...fell.... It wasn't fair...." He whispered. He had long gotten past the anger at the world that had once raged within him when Sirius was mentioned. The anger was gone, but not the pain.

"You shouldn't blame yourself, Harry. There was nothing you could have done." Soulful old eyes watched the quiet boy sadly. She knew what it was like to, unexpectedly, lose someone to the clutches of the Dark Lord, as it was through He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named orders that she'd lost her husband, who had worked for the Order.

"There had to have been something. Anything. I didn't even get the chance to say good-bye...." Harry's voice cracked, as if he were crying, or about to, but his emerald eyes, so like his mother's, remained cold and unfeeling in a face that was a mixture of James and Sirius. It was oddly chilling to see the three dead souls looking out from the lonely young wizard's haunted face. Mrs. Figg couldn't help but shiver at the thought.

"Harry, not even Dumbledore was able to do anything," she tried.

Harry stared at his hands, which were sitting before his cup, biting back a rude comment about the headmaster. An uncomfortable silence fell about them. Harry broke it with a muttered, "I should go, before they wonder where I've gone."

"Alright then." Mrs. Figg smiled in an attempt to bring an end to the gloomy feeling in the air. "Drop by anytime!"

"Of course...." Harry stood and Mrs. Figg followed suit. "I'll show myself out," he added hastily. Then he turned and left the house, letting the front door close lightly behind him.

Mrs. Figg finished getting up to deal with the cups. Harry had drunken little, if any, of his. Mrs. Figg bit her lip, watching the boy walk further down the street, away from his aunt and uncle's house. She'd have to report Harry's state to Dumbledore. The boy was getting worse.

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**A/N:** Sorry it's so short. I promise that chappie 2 will be much longer!! [winks] So, stay tuned!

Batsutousai

Chapter two: Return to the Wizard World


	2. Return to the Wizard World

**Title:** Harry Potter: Face-to-Face With an Adult's Destiny

**Chapter Title:** "Return to the Wizard World"

**Author:** Hitokiri Batsutousai

**Rating:** PG-13 - R(It's still undecided, actually. This chappie's about PG, but, knowing me, it'll hit R by the fourth chappie, so I'm upping the rating now)

**Pairings:** Wait and see. There is a slash/yaoi warning on this, though

**Summary:** Fifth year is over, and Sirius is gone. Now Harry knows his destiny; to kill, or be killed. How can Harry cope?

**Disclaimer:** (I realize this was forgotten in chappie 1. I'd apologize, but I don't feel like it) Don't own Harry Potter. Wish I did. I could buy that manga I want if I owned HP. It'd be a really slashy series, too. [sighes] I suppose one can dream about owning things like Harry Potter, can't they? I mean, I do...all the time.... [sweatdrop]

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Harry was sitting gloomily at the table the next morning, staring down at the eggs and bacon on his plate. Dudley was sitting across from him, eyeing Harry's food, since his was all gone. Uncle Vernon was taking turns eating his food and sipping his coffee around his paper, which hid him from view. Aunt Petunia was upstairs, supposedly getting Dudley's clothing for the wash, since he'd forgotten to bring it down with him and made a fit about going back up to do it. Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask Harry, in case he thought he was being given chores and being mistreated again.

As Aunt Petunia walked into the kitchen, arms full, someone knocked on the door. "Get the door, boy." Uncle Vernon shot at Harry from around his paper. Dudley licked his lips, watching as Harry stood. Harry sighed and pushed his plate at his cousin, not really hungry anyway, and went to get the door.

It was Remus Lupin in a long-sleeved white button-up shirt and black trousers. His longish hair seemed even grayer than Harry remembered it and he looked like he hadn't had any sleep in weeks. Despite his worn out appearance, Lupin smiled. "Hullo, Harry. Been doing well?"

"Professor Lupin!" Harry gaped at the man in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"It's just Lupin, Harry. And I'm here to see you. Mind if I come in?" Lupin's smile seemed to widen.

"Er..." Harry stepped back to let Lupin in. "Sure. Come in." He closed the door behind the man. "Am I in trouble? Did something happen?" He glanced up at the man, confused as to why he was there.

"Well, we got a call from Arabella Figg that said that you were being quite the gloomy wizard, so I was sent to check up on you. How are you doing?" Lupin said seriously, watching Harry closely. They were still standing in the entrance hall.

"Well, who is it, bo-" Uncle Vernon froze as he saw Harry's guest. "Oh." He disappeared back into the kitchen rather quickly for someone of his size.

"I'm fine." Harry announced to the man in front of him, turning towards the stairs. "Come on upstairs. They won't want you in the kitchen."

Lupin let out a sigh. He'd seen the little happiness drain from Harry's face once the boy knew why Lupin was there. This wasn't going to be too easy, Lupin decided, following Harry up the stairs and into Harry's room.

There were school books piled on top of Harry's trunk in the corner, a Quidditch book lay on top of the pile of books, open to a picture of a player in green catching a little golden ball, the Snitch. Harry's Firebolt, a Christmas gift from Sirius in Harry's third year, lay out on his desk, next to Hedwig's cage, which was empty. Dudley's old stereo sat in the corner, now Harry's, with a set of Dudley's old, scratched up CDS on top of it. The wardrobe's door was hanging open, showing a mirror on the inside of the door and more of Harry's latest style of clothing. On the bed sat the set of books that Lupin and Sirius had given Harry the past Christmas. The pages had become well-worn and one was open to a page on a very difficult shield spell that would reflect spells back on the attacker, rather than just absorbing the power. The dragon figurine Harry had gotten in his forth year was chasing the mini Firebolt Tonks had given him for last Christmas around the room.

"Harry, will you please tell me what it is that's bothering you?" Lupin requested, sitting on the bed and picking up the open book and glancing at the moving picture of a wizard making the shield and the attacking spell bouncing off it.

"Nothing's bothering me, really." Harry returned firmly, turning to look at the older man coldly.

"Sirius wouldn't want you to be this depressed, Harry. You can't keep beating yourself up over his death." The werewolf let out a sigh, turning the page of the book to a hex that would make the opponent's wand sprout flowers and hinder it's ability to work for at least a minute. The picture showed a wizard attempting to de-flower his wand and not succeeding.

"It's my fault! I shouldn't have gone to the Department of Mysteries! If I hadn't, Sirius wouldn't be dead right now!" Harry exploded, narrowing hate-filled emeralds at the older wizard.

"And I suppose you're the only one to blame?" Lupin shot back bitterly. Harry flinched and Lupin shook his head, eyes going back to the book. "I apologize. That was uncalled for."

Harry sat down on the bed next to Lupin heavily. "I know he wouldn't want me like this. I can't help it, that's all." The boy glanced down at his wrist bands, which were red and gold today, Gryffindor colours. "People keep dying because of me, Lupin. My parents, Cedric, Sirius.... There's nothing I can do about it. I can't help but blame myself."

"If there's anyone to blame, it's Voldemort." Lupin looked over at the boy sideways. "He's the one who's truly at fault here, not you."

"I know that too, Lupin...." Harry looked over at the man and was surprised at the emotion within them. "What is it?"

"You look like a cross between Sirius, James, and Lily, now. I just realized that."

"Oh..." Harry shrugged. "Aunt Petunia hates my hair like this, but I won't let her cut it." He offered a sad sort of smile and twirled a lock of his uncombed, ragged black hair around a finger.

Lupin chuckled lightly. "Looking at this house, I can guess why."

"I suppose..."

Lupin glanced back down at the book, letting a silence fall over them. He broke it after a moment, turning the page of the book as he spoke, "What do you say to getting out of this house? I know you don't like it here...."

"I'd rather be here, almost." Harry muttered before he could stop himself. By the time he realized he'd said it, it was too late to take it back.

"Why?" Lupin looked up at the boy curiously, who had turned away, ashamed.

"Nobody bothers me here, that's all..." Harry shrugged, refusing to meet Lupin's eyes.

"No one's staying at headquarters these days but me, Harry. They'll drop by, but they don't stay. I asked they to let me be for the most part."

Harry looked up at his old professor, shocked. "Why'd you ask them that?" He knew that Lupin liked having time to himself from time to time, like on the full moon, but he'd rather have someone near him that he could talk to without calling on them by Floo or traveling himself.

Lupin looked over the young wizard calmly. "I'll tell you if you come. It gets boring not having much of anyone to talk to when it gets lonely there."

Harry glanced at his Firebolt on his desk. Sirius wouldn't want him here at the Dursleys', not knowing what was going on in the wizard world. Sirius would have wanted him to be happy and be in the action. They both had known what it was like, being cooped up, unable to go out and be free of the houses they lived in. Sirius would want Harry to be free for him, he always had. He'd only ever wanted the best for his godson, even if it meant his own life. Harry swallowed, those very thoughts circling his mind, and turned to Lupin. "Alright. But, if I want to be alone, you'll leave me alone."

"If you'll extend the same courtesy to me, you have a deal." Lupin offered a rough hand to Harry.

Harry took the hand with a thin smile and they shook. "Now, to pack..." Harry looked around at everything.

"Here." Lupin stood and flicked his wand, which he'd pulled out from a pocket, gracefully. All of Harry's things flew into his trunk, including the dragon and mini Firebolt, which fought valiantly against the magic. When Tonks had packed Harry's trunk last year, it had been a mess. Lupin appeared much more advanced at this spell, since everything fit in neatly. All that was left was Hedwig's cage, which they'd have to carry. Lupin closed Harry's trunk and grabbed the cage. "You take Hedwig's cage," he said, offering Harry the cage, which he took quickly, "and I'll grab the trunk. We'll have to tell your aunt and uncle that you're coming with me for the rest of the summer, of course..."

"They'll be delighted." Harry snorted, leading the way from his room. With a smooth "_Locomotor Trunk_," Lupin followed Harry down the stairs.

"I'll leave your trunk here, for right now." Lupin suggested, setting down the trunk softly in the entrance hall. Harry set Hedwig's cage on top and led Lupin to the kitchen.

"Uncle Vernon? Aunt Petunia?" He looked between the two of them, Lupin pushing him into the kitchen and coming to stand behind the boy. Dudley was nowhere in sight.

"What is it?" Uncle Vernon refused to look up as he spoke, and Aunt Petunia busied herself with the wash.

"This is Remus Lupin. He's going to be letting me stay at his place for the rest of the summer." Harry mumbled.

"Have fun." Aunt Petunia offered half-heartedly. Uncle Vernon managed a grunt.

Harry nodded to Lupin and they returned to the entrance hall and Harry's stuff. "How are we getting there?" Harry inquired as he picked up Hedwig's cage, then opened the door for Lupin, who was physically pulling the trunk, rather than risk magic with all the Muggles around.

"I thought we might take the Knight Bus." Lupin offered.

"Wonderful," Harry snorted. "My second most favorite way to travel."

"And what's your first?" Lupin inquired with a grin, stopping at the curb to pull out his wand and signal the Knight Bus.

"Floo." Harry replied grimly. Lupin laughed as the bus appeared out of nowhere with a loud BANG.

Stan Shunpike, conductor of the Knight Bus, smiled down at them. "Hullo, there. Brilliant day, i'n't it?"

"Hello, Stan." Harry offered with a forced smile. He'd almost rather travel by Floo than have Stan bugging him the whole trip.

"We'd like to go to Grimmauld Square, please." Lupin smiled lightly, holding out a hand of coins. "As quickly as possible, if you gentlemen please."

Stan took the money with a nod to the driver, Ernie Prang. "We'll 'ave you there in no time, sir."

Lupin nodded his thanks and they found a seat near the front. "Well, we'll try and make this a short trip, okay?"

Harry nodded his thanks as the Knight Bus BANGed into motion again. Both Harry and Lupin managed to not going flying backwards, but just barely.

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Once the Knight Bus had left them with another loud BANG, Lupin led Harry over to the slowly appearing building that was number twelve, Grimmauld Place. The door opened as they reached the steps to show them a grinning Nymphadora Tonks, who currently had long silver hair, which made her look almost like a Veela. She wore soft blue robes over what appeared to be a pair of blue Muggle jeans. "Hullo, Harry, Remus." She offered to the two wizards.

"Hello, Tonks." Harry couldn't help but smile when faced with the clumsy witch and her ever happy personality.

"What are you here for?" Lupin inquired warily as Tonks helped him drag in the trunk(and managing to not knock over anything, if only because the entrance hall had been cleared of anything she might knock over). Harry followed them inside and closed the door once he was inside.

"Oh, business, as usual." Tonks answered Lupin with a sigh, setting down her end of Harry's trunk. Lupin set down his end of the trunk as well, then lit a few of the old gas lamps so they could see better.

"Another attack?" Lupin inquired, motioning for Harry to put down the empty cage and follow him and Tonks down to the kitchen. Harry did so.

Tonks frowned at Harry. "Molly would have a heart attack if she knew we were letting him hear my report, Remus."

Harry clenched his fists and had just opened his mouth to complain when Lupin's calming voice replied. "He'll be spending the rest of the summer here. He'll find out ways to listen in on stuff anyways. Let's just skip this whole game and you give the report."

Tonks shook her head with a thin smile. "Sirius rubbed off on you too much."

"Don't." Lupin's voice was strained. Harry was shocked at the hurt and slight anger he saw in the older wizard's eyes.

Tonks seemed to back down, as if she'd crossed a firmly placed line and was in danger of losing a limb or two. "Sorry, I forgot." She offered, eyeing Harry while Lupin took a moment to get control over his emotions again. "I suppose he can listen," Tonks agreed, once she sensed that the danger had passed, "But, if Molly yells, it's your fault."

"Fine." Lupin sat and used his wand to call three bottles of butterbeer to the table. Harry and Tonks both joined him at the table and took their bottles gratefully.

As if the conversation about Harry listening to Tonk's report never happened, the witch answered Lupin's earlier inquiry. "Yes, another attack. Two, in fact. There was another raid on Azkaban at the same time as an attack on the Ministry. We lost two at the Ministry, none of the ones in the Order, and many were wounded, Kingsley included, and have been sent to St. Mungo's. Nothing of importance was stolen, though, so we think it was just a distraction, which worked. The raid on Azkaban got them three more of their own back, and injured two more of ours. I think You-Know-Who has gathered more followers again. There were at least a dozen more there than our last count. Severus says he'll try counting again."

Lupin leaned back in his chair, lines around his face deeper than usual. "What does Dumbledore have to say about this?"

"No clue. Arthur went to him while I came here to wait for you to come back."

Harry looked at Tonks and asked the question who was burning at him. "Who all got out of Azkaban?"

The woman sighed and looked at Harry seriously, which seemed wrong on her young face. "I know Lucius Malfoy, for sure. I didn't catch the other two names before I left, though."

"Malfoy's out?" Harry groaned, having an idea what sort of school year was awaiting him, what with Draco Malfoy being one of his classmates. "Brilliant. Just bloody brilliant." He took a large gulp of butterbeer.

"If his son gives you any trouble, tell one of your teachers. They'll set him straight." Tonks offered soothingly. Harry said nothing.

A sound came from behind Harry and the three at the table all looked around to see Severus Snape, Harry's potions professor at school, standing up from the fire and dusting his black robes off. "Remus. Tonks." He nodded an almost polite greeting at the two adults before turning a hate-filled gaze on Harry. "Why are you here, Potter?"

"I invited him." Lupin frowned at Snape. "Did you need something?"

Snape turned to Tonks coldly. "The Headmaster would like a word with you, Tonks. Something about getting your views on the attack."

"Thank you, Severus." Tonks stood and stepped around the table. She gave Harry a brief smile before tossing Floo powder into the fire and stepping in, shouting "Headmaster's office, Hogwarts." She was gone.

Snape had returned to looking at Harry, but the hateful gaze had been replaced with something that almost looked like he cared about the boy, which didn't seem possible. Harry met the man's gaze with his own empty one. It took a long moment of this staring contest before Snape finally spoke. "You need to eat more, Potter. You've gotten even more scrawny since the last time I saw you, if that's even possible." Harry's eyes widened in surprise at the rare show that the Death Eater actually did have a heart. "Don't look at me like that." Snape snapped, turning to Lupin. "I'll be going now. Dumbledore may want to speak to you and Potter, if only to set down some ground rules. I'll tell him Potter is here, unless Tonks already has." He nodded curtly, which Lupin returned, then left through the fire with the same destination in mind as Tonks.

Harry stared back down at his butterbeer sadly. "Rules. Just what I always wanted." He mumbled sarcastically.

Lupin stood with a sigh. "Let's get that trunk of yours up to your room, okay?" Harry stood and followed him, mind heavy with the report from Tonks and the strange words of Snape.

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**A/N:** A strange question that just came to mind: What colour are Remus Lupin's eyes? I just read the 3rd book again, and I don't recall reading it anywhere, but I want to say that they are grey. Has anyone any idea? It seems wrong to not know....

I'm not too good at making these chapters too long, am I? Pity.... [shrugs] They should get a little longer each chapter....

Batsutousai

Chapter three: Order Rules


	3. Order Rules

**Title: **Harry Potter: Face-to-Face with and Adult's Destiny  
**Chapter Title:** "Order Rules"  
**Author:** Hitokiri Batsutousai  
**Rating:** PG-13 - R(It's gonna hit PG-13 by next chappie, and R later on, so we just say PG-13 for now. [grins])  
**Pairings:** Wait and see. There IS a slash/yaoi warning on this chappie and later.  
**Summary:** Fifth year is over, and Sirius is gone. Now Harry knows his destiny; to kill, or be killed. How can Harry cope?

**Disclaimer:** Won't be owing Harry Potter any year soon, so you can't quite sue, right? I've said I don't owe it, so this is legal, right? I think that's what my mom once said, and I'd trust her, she works with lawyers..... Oh well..... Wouldn't mind the money if you were to sue me, I might counter sue you and get all the money. Not that I have any money for you to get.... sad look I hate it when I remember how poor I am.....

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Dumbledore arrived just as Harry and Lupin were sitting down for a dinner of sandwiches. Neither wizard had been very hungry, so they'd agreed on simple sandwiches.

Dumbledore's light blue eyes hadn't lost their twinkle, though they managed to look almost as tired as Lupin's. His silver beard and hair was tangled roughly, as if he hadn't had the chance to brush through it in a while. His soft purple robes hung from his shoulders loosely, as if they were drooping in wariness, which they very well might have been. Despite his harassed appearance, he still smiled brilliantly as he sat down to join them and took a sandwich.

The headmaster was first to speak after a silence tinged with the tenseness coming from a slightly nervous Harry. "So, Harry, how has your summer been so far?"

"Pleasant." Harry replied, the disgust at such an idea not lost on either of the two overage wizards.

"Is that a bad thing?" Dumbledore inquired softly.

"More weird. It seemed wrong to have it be so easy, for once." Harry replied with a shrug. He turned back to his sandwich.

Dumbledore took this as a sign that their conversation was over with and he'd best move on, so he turned to Lupin. "I hear that you'll be having Harry spend the rest of the holiday here."

"Yes, sir. I figured that it was best for us to mope together." Lupin replied ruefully. The smile he offered the old headmaster looked forced.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Don't mope too much, Remus. I might need you." Lupin nodded seriously, any trace of a smile long gone. "Well then. If Harry's going to be staying here and headquarters, we'll need to set down some rules...."

Harry interrupted Dumbledore suddenly. "Professor, if you don't mind, I'd rather be kept informed about what's going on in the Order and with Voldemort while I'm here. I'm just as much a part of this war as all of you, if not even more so." He fixed the powerful wizard with his piercing emerald gaze. "It was proven last year just how much it can hurt everyone involved if I'm not properly informed."

Lupin couldn't help but stare at Harry, and vaguely realized that Dumbledore was doing the same thing. The young man had grown up so much from the confused, yet brave, little boy of the year before. Part of him wanted to yell at Harry for interrupting the old headmaster, but a larger part of him wanted to see how this whole thing would turn out.

Dumbledore, once over his initial shock, took a long moment to examine the young wizard in front of him. The boy may have been a mere fifteen years of age, but his mind was truly that of a grown adult. Dumbledore let out a sigh before answering. "Harry, I know that you feel that you need to know what's going on, but we have firm rules about these things...."

Harry interrupted the man again, but this time his tone held a barely contained anger back, which also flashed in his emerald eyes. "Oh, so I can go up against Voldemort five times and watch him and his Death Eaters kill people I care about, but I can't even learn what's going on in the best defense we have against him? You expect me to kill or be killed by Voldemort, but 'm not allowed to sit in on Order meetings?" Harry was standing before he knew it, glaring down at the old headmaster with clenched fists, eyes blazing in a hateful emerald fire.

"Harry..." Lupin tried stopping the explosion before it got too much worse. "Harry, please sit down...."

Harry ignored Lupin entirely. "Let me guess," he continued, voice smoothing out to a low, dangerous hiss, "I'm too bloody young. I'm not of age, even. Of course. Why not. Little Harry Potter is too young to know about and handle all adult stuff. Tell you what. Little Harry Potter will be upstairs in his room while the wise and experienced adults finish deciding his future." And, with that, Harry turned and calmly left the kitchen.

The tension in the air lessened somewhat. Lupin rubbed at his eyes tiredly. Dumbledore watched the doorway Harry had just disappeared through thoughtfully.

"Now what?" Lupin inquired, forcing an end to the deafening silence that had fallen heavily over them.

"That's a good question." Dumbledore met the werewolf's piercing stare. "If we let him listen to all the Order's news, we might as well induct him, which we have rules against doing until a witch or wizard is out of school."

"Harry's a special case, Albus." Lupin pressed. "And he does have a point." A rueful smile pulled at his pale lips. "Many points, in fact."

Dumbledore nodded, eyes twinkling. "I know all this. Yet, if we do induct him, there will have to be specific rules set out for him and other members that come in contact with him. Like not telling his friends about what he hears or that he's even in the Order."

"I'll get Harry. You tell him this and let him decide." Lupin suggested, standing.

"Very well." Dumbledore nodded. Lupin disappeared through the doorway and Dumbledore turned to the happy fire in the fireplace.

He looked back on the man he'd trapped in this house and lost last year. Being in this house always made him think of Sirius. He, unlike Lupin, had avoided the building due to that. His knowledge of Lupin and Sirius' relationship told him that the reminder of the dead man was the real reason Lupin stayed, not to watch over headquarters, as he'd said. Sirius may have hated the place with a passion, but he'd left his own distinct mark, and it was hard to miss him while sitting in the warm kitchen of his house. One almost expected Sirius to come bounding through the doorway, ready to greet his newest visitor, unless is was Snape. It was wrong for him to not be there, fighting with Dumbledore over Harry's future, fighting on Harry's behalf over even the slightest things.

Lupin walked back in suddenly with a cold Harry. Apparently, Lupin had requested Harry listen to what Dumbledore had to say, since the boy sat and turned empty eyes on his headmaster. Lupin sat himself at the head of the table, as if to act as a referee. He nodded to Dumbledore, who nodded back before looking at Harry.

"Remus and I agree that you should probably have a better grasp on what's happening." Harry's silent nod let Dumbledore know he was paying attention, by the empty look didn't change. "And I think it would probably be best if you are inducted into the Order." Harry's eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't move to interrupt, so Dumbledore continued again. "There will have to be some extra rules for you, of course...."

"Like what?" Harry inquired politely. Not the quite what Dumbledore was expecting.

"Like rules about not telling your friends that you're a member and what you learn here." Dumbledore gazed into the thoughtful green eyes. "And you'll have to finish your study of Occlumency rather quickly." He added smoothly.

Harry frowned at the thought. "I'll not learn from Professor Snape."

"I think Professor Snape can agree with you on that matter, Harry." Dumbledore smiled lightly. "I was thinking that Remus might teach you during your free time together. If he agrees, of course." The old wizard turned to look at Lupin, who looked thoughtful.

"I'm not the best at Legilimency or Occlumency, but I can do my best, sir." Lupin promised after a silent moment.

"Wonderful." Dumbledore looked back to Harry, suddenly serious again. "I won't induct you into the Order fully until you've got a better grasp on Occlumency for security measures, but you can listen in on reports. Plans for attacks on Voldemort and his followers will be with held from you until we are sure he can't find it out from prying at your mind."

Harry nodded. "I can live with that."

"Good. It's always nice to have different perspectives on reports that are brought in." Dumbledore stood slowly, turning to Lupin. "Remus, I might warn you that Severus told me that one time Harry managed to get a look inside his own mind. You may want to tell Harry a few things before you start working together." Dumbledore suggested. Then, with a wave and a big smile, he was gone, headed for his office or another Order member, to explain the situation.

Harry turned to Lupin with a thin frown. "What did he mean, Lupin?"

Lupin licked his lips nervously and refused to meet Harry's gaze. "How to explain this..." He trailed off, picking at a hole in the tabletop. "Well, it's about Sirius.... I mean, you know he and I were close, right? I suppose that was obvious, everyone saw that, kept commenting about it to me...." He glanced up at Harry briefly to earn a confused nod before turning back to the tabletop. "I don't suppose Sirius ever....no....he wouldn't have...."

"Lupin, just tell me." Harry growled, getting impatient with Lupin's stuttering nervousness.

Lupin closed his eyes and braced himself. "SiriusandIweresleepingtogether," he managed quickly. It had never bothered him that he was gay or that he loved Sirius, but telling his dead lover's godson was almost as difficult as telling James and Lily. Even more so, since Sirius wasn't there to make everyone laugh about it this time.

Harry shrugged. "Oh."

"Oh?" Lupin looked at Harry, shocked. "What do you mean, 'oh'?"

"Well, I almost expected it. I mean, ever since Sirius got out of Azkaban, you two have been spending what time you could together. It was like, every time I called here or was here last year, you were here with him, unless Dumbledore had made you go on a mission of some sort. It kinda dawned on me last year that you and he were maybe more than friends, but then he died and I didn't really think about it again." Harry explained, as if it were obvious.

"Oh." Lupin sighed and leaned back in his chair. "That was almost as easy as telling Lily. James was a different matter." He smiled at the memory.

"My mum and dad knew?"

"Yeah. Lily had figured it out a while ago, when James started to work with her in classes and Sirius and I paired up, leaving Peter to find himself his own partner. James was totally lost, but Sirius made a quick joke and he seemed to accept it after that."

"Wow..."

Lupin smiled at the look on Harry's face that always appeared when he was told good stories about his parents. "Yes, yes..." Something flipped to the front of his mind and he started looking nervous again.

Harry snapped out of his happy land, concern flipping through his features. "What's wrong, Lupin?"

"Uhm, did you know that Sirius had a will?" Harry shook his head. "He wrote it before he went into hiding , back when your parents were alive, most people did. Sirius had revised it while he was stuck here, just in case."

"What's it say, then?" Harry inquired seriously.

"Well, as I was the closest thing to a spouse to him, everything that was his goes to me, including the care of you. In the event of my death with no will, he named you as his heir and everything was to go to you, Harry. My will said basically the same thing." Lupin smiled sadly.

Harry took a moment to let this new news seep in. "So," he started slowly after a long moment, "you're now like my godfather instead of Sirius?" His eyes had an unreadable glint to them.

"That's the basic idea, yes." Lupin braced himself for an explosion, not knowing how Harry might react to this news.

Harry was quite for a long moment, emerald eyes thoughtful. Lupin refused to relax, in case the teen wizard still lost it. Sirius was an ever delicate subject with the young man, as it was with Lupin.

When Harry finally spoke, it was in a slightly excited voice and with a thin, reassuring smile tugging at his lips. "Then I'm not so parentless, after all. I may have lost Sirius, yes. But, in losing him, I found you." Harry met the werewolf's calming gaze with a bright, happy smile, one that hadn't graced his lips in a long while. "May I call you Remus, then?"

The older wizard looked thoughtful for a brief moment before nodding slowly, a tired smile gracing his own lips. "If you'd like to, I have no objection."

Harry felt far better. He'd lost one parent-figure, and gained another. Sirius was gone, nothing would change that, but all was not lost after all. He couldn't help but stand up and walk around to Remus Lupin and give the man a big hug. "Thank you, Remus."

The werewolf returned the hug, blinking tears from his eyes. He felt as if James, Lily, and Sirius had just been returned to him in this small boy, just as he had the night he learned that Sirius was innocent, and maybe he had again, this time. After all, Harry may not have been any of his old school friends, but a little of each lived within the boy.

**================================================================================**

**A/N:** Wow.... That's heart-tearing. [sighes] I think this chappie is shorter than last chappie, which is sad as hell, but next chappie is gonna be really long!! PROMISE!!!

To all my most amazing reviewers: Thank you so much!!! I love you all! Review again!!  
And one last question, in which book does it give Remus' eye colour? Just curious.... [grins]

Sorry it took sooooo much longer to get this chappie out than it did for chappie 2, but I seem to be having issues with my free time. Chappie 4 will be up sometime between now and the 28th, for sure, k? Hang in there!!

Batsutousai

Next Chapter: Harry's Little Secret


	4. Harry's Little Secret

**Title: **Harry Potter: Face-to-Face with and Adults Destiny**  
Chapter Title:** "Harry's Little Secret"**  
Author:** Hitokiri Batsutousai**  
Rating:** PG-13 - R**  
Warnings:** Slash/yaoi, blood, cutting, Voldemort's evile intentions(Category unto itself.)**  
Pairings:** Remus/Sirius and others(I'll post them after the first chapter that they appear in the story.)

**Summary:** Fifth year is over, and Sirius is gone. Now Harry knows his destiny; to kill, or be killed. How can Harry cope?

**Disclaimer:** You know the saying: "Naked as the day you were born"? Well, here's another one: "Broke as the day you were born." And I'm tellin' ya. I'm broke, and I don't own Harry Potter. Now, let me write these little ficcits in peace....

**Quicky Lil A/N:** (If you don't read this note, it won't hurt you, but some things might confuse you.) There's a bit of a time jump between chapters three and four. Where chapter three takes place near the beginning of the summer, chapter four is more towards the middle. So, by this time, we're going to just say that Harry's got Occlumency down to an art and has been going to Order meetings rather frequently.

[sighes] I am VERY SORRY this took so long…. I was posting my new fic, Tomorrow, and noticed that ppl actually liked me, so I felt guilty and had a fight with my disk and found this chappie…. So, I love you all, really do, here it is, chappie four!!

* * *

"Harry?" Remus cracked the boy's room door open slightly to look at the small lump on the bed under the empty picture frame. An unintelligible mumble came from the lump. Remus tried again. "Harry there's been another attack. Bill Weasley was sent to St. Mungo's."

Harry sat up quickly, blinking rapidly in the general direction of the door and Remus' voice. "Bill's hurt?"

"Yes. Arthur's downstairs. He wants to know if you'd like to go with him to St. Mungo's." Remus confirmed.

"I do, yes." Harry mumbled, fumbling around on his bedside table for something. His quiet muttering soon made it quite clear what he was looking for. "Glasses, glasses, glasses... Wait, wand. _Lumos_." A small ball of light appeared from the tip of Harry's wand. He looked around again on the table and, not seeing the item of his search, looked down. A glint of glass caught his eye from just under the bed and he reached down to pick the glasses up. "There you are. What were you doing on the floor, under the bed? Damned things." If it hadn't be such a serious occasion, Harry might have laughed. Instead, the raven-haired wizard put on his glasses and followed his second godfather down to the kitchen with a soft "_Nox_" that put out his wand's light.

Arthur Weasley offered the boy a tired smile as they stepped into the kitchen. "Hullo, Harry. Sorry to wake you like this and all, but we thought you might want to know, what with you and Bill being such good friends now."

Harry nodded. It was true, ever since he'd been allowed to attend Order meetings, he'd come to call more people by their first name and befriended many who he hadn't really known. Bill, being the closest to Harry's age, had quickly taken the boy under his wing and befriended Harry, mostly so that, if the meeting got boring, Harry could chat with someone who didn't have to pay all that much attention and who was always there, unlike Fred and George, who only showed up when they absolutely had to. "What happened?"

"Surprise attack on a Muggle neighborhood. Bill was the first to the scene, since he was on Gringotts' business in the area. He called for help, then went after the Death Eaters. You-Know-Who wasn't there, luckily enough. By the time anyone else got there, he'd nearly taken care of it, but he'd been hurt pretty badly." Arthur explained, leading Harry towards the fireplace. "The rest of the family's already there, except for Charlie, who says he'll drop by a bit later."

"Remember to keep silent about joining the Order, Harry." Remus warned, as he always did when there was a chance that Harry might come into contact with a friend, be they a best friend or a fellow ex-DA member from last year that wasn't in the Order.

"I know, Remus. I'll keep my mouth shut." Harry sighed. Remus drove him nuts sometimes, with his constant mothering. Her was almost as bad as Molly.

"Alright then. We're going to Floo there. Ready, Harry?" Arthur offered a sad smile.

Harry nodded and took some of the powder before realizing that Remus had sat down at the table and was not looking like he was coming with. "Remus?"

"I have to wait here, Harry. Someone needs to stay at headquarters. I'll join you guys when someone drops by to take over for me." Remus said soothingly. "Go on. You'll be fine."

Harry bit his lip and nodded nervously. He took off his glasses and stashed them in a pocket of his robes. Then, with his pinch of Floo powder, he followed Arthur to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.

* * *

"Hullo, everyone. Harry mumbled as he walked into the room before Arthur. Molly Weasley sat on the far side of the bed between an empty chair, obviously Arthur's, and Percy, who was holding Molly's hand soothingly. It was weird to see Percy there, but he'd made up with his family, for the most part, and they were almost accepting him as a son again. Fred and George sat at the end of the bed, biting their lower lips in nervousness. Ron and Ginny sat on either side of an empty chair, which they beckoned Harry towards. Harry sat and held Ginny's hand in one of his own comfortingly. Ron rested an arm across Harry's shoulders in a friendly gesture and Harry returned it.

"Doesn't look too good, does it?" Fred offered as Arthur sat next to Molly.

Fred was right. Bill was tossing in the bed feverishly, as if fighting with a dreadful nightmare. If the blood blooming from his shoulder was any indication, it looked like he had been hurt pretty badly in the attack against the Death Eaters. The wound was, no doubt, bandaged, but Bill's tossing was only opening it again. The pain was making him whimper and moan.

"But, you know Bill. He'll be just fine!" George offered, trying to make everyone smile. If anyone was even trying, it didn't show.

"This is so horrible. How could anyone do such a thing to another human being?" Ginny whispered painfully. Harry folded the girl into a comforting hug, not knowing what to say to that. How often had he found himself wondering the same thing?

A doctor walked in then, speaking once he'd cleared the doorway. "I'm afraid we might have to tie him down if he can't stay still," he said sadly.

Ginny offered a stifled sob into Harry's shoulder. A tear slid down Molly's face. Ron, Percy, and Arthur tried to look brave, Arthur hugging Molly around the shoulders while Percy rubbed her hand. Fred and George looked at Bill with painful smiles. "Come on, Bill, old chap. You heard the man, stop moving now." They tried together. Bill continued tossing.

Harry felt out of place among the Weasleys. Bill was a good friend of his, yes, but he wasn't the same as a fun older brother or son. Harry mentally begged Bill to be still, if only for his family.

Surprisingly, Bill stopped moving. The doctor took a thankful breath as a calm expression spread over Bill's face. "Well, we'll change his bandages, then. I'll be right back. Whatever you all did, keep it up." He smiled at them and left.

Harry frowned slightly, wondering if it was his begging that had stopped his friend. Did this have something to do with all the odd powers Dumbledore claimed he'd gained from Voldemort? Or was this a power he'd somehow gained over the summer while he was bored or practising Occlumency? Or, most likely, was it just pure chance? Harry didn't know.

Ron turned to Harry. "Well then, Harry. Want to o up and get some tea? I dare say I, at least, need some."

"Me too." Ginny offered, pulling away from Harry and wiping at her eyes.

Harry glanced over at Arthur questioningly. Arthur offered a sad smile. "Go on. If Remus comes while you're gone, we'll have him wait for you."

"Alright then." Harry nodded. He, Ginny, and Ron left the room and made for the stairs down the hall.

Ron broke the silence between the three of them as they started up the stairs, despite the talkative pictures on the walls. "So, you've been staying at headquarters lately?" He inquired, chancing a glance at Harry.

"Yeah. Remus invited me. He's been teaching me Occlumency." Harry shrugged.

"Lupin?!" Ron looked startled.

"Yeah. Sirius apparently left everything he had to Remus, including caring for me."

"Why?" This time is was Ginny who spoke. Harry had almost forgotten that she was there. Ron, apparently, _had_ forgotten, if his jumping at her voice was any indication.

Harry had long ago decided that, along with Order business, his two godfathers' relationship was to be kept from his friends, if only because he didn't know how they'd react. "I guess it's because they were such good friends and I just wasn't old enough to take care of myself and all of Sirius' stuff all at once," he muttered with a shrug.

"Oh," Ron nodded in understanding. Ginny didn't look so sure, but she let it go. They quieted and let the chatter of the pictures fall over them soothingly.

As they stepped into the tea room, a room coloured with soft pastels and white chairs and tables, Ron seemed to remember another question he'd had. "So, does Lupin let you listen in on the meetings?"

Harry feigned a mix of sadness and annoyance. "No," his voice came out with a bitter twinge. "They're all still convinced that I'm too young, or whatever. It gets kind of tiresome after a while...."

"Why don't you see if you can come and stay at the Burrow!" Ron exclaimed excitedly.

"Ron, think." Ginny frowned at her brother as she poured the tea from the kettle into her cup. "Who is the one person Vol-" she paused and looked around. There were a couple older people in the room as well, so she lowered her voice and rephrased her sentence. "Who is the one person You-Know-Who is looking for, above everyone else?"

"Harry." Ron gave her a 'duh' look.

"Then wouldn't the two safest places for him be headquarters or Hogwarts?"

Ron suddenly looked really stupid. Harry shrugged. "Ask your mum and dad. See if they'll let you come and visit. You'll be safer and headquarters too."

"Help us argue it, Harry! Mum'll love it!" Ron begged as the three headed back downstairs with their tea in hand.

"No, you ask her yourself if you want to come and visit so bad." Harry frowned at his best friend. "You don't need my help with your mum." Ron turned away from Harry and they finished their trip in silence.

They opened the door to Bills's room to find it full of worried-looking Weasleys, Charlie now included, and Remus. "What is it? Is Bill worse?" Ron exclaimed, eyes scared.

"You-Know-Who was just sighted near the hospital." Arthur muttered.

"Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fred, and George will be going with Lupin. The rest of us will be staying with Bill." Charlie explained calmly. "Quickly, now!"

Remus, Fred, and George pushed the three under-age wizards and witch from the room and down the hall towards the stairs. Harry grabbed on to Remus' arm tightly, face calm, but his eyes flickered around him in terror. Ron and Ginny each attached themselves to one of their twin brothers, and all four looked pale.

The six stumbled down the stairs and into the lobby. Various Order and Ministry members waved if they knew the group. Remus led them to one of the fireplaces. "Harry, you're first, then. Go on." He pressed the boy towards the licking flames and put a dab of Floo Powder in Harry's hand. After quickly stuffing his glasses in a pocket, Harry set out for Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. He didn't even stop to argue about staying behind to fight.

* * *

While Fred and George were working on trying to calm Ron and Ginny down, Remus was better explaining the attack that Bill had been in, mostly what had happened past what Arthur had told him, and what had really been going on at St. Mungo's. Harry was already quite calm himself, having a good idea how the Ministry and the Order worked to get attacks and threats of an attack, like the one at St. Mungo's, under control by now.

Once he'd received Remus' brief overview, he walked back over to Ron and Ginny, who weren't calming down. Fred and George left their siblings to Harry, finally giving up, and walked with Remus to a distance for a chat. Harry turned to his schoolmates. "You guys, it's under control. No one would still be at St. Mungo's if they feared it would be a danger to them."

"Then why were we made to leave?!" Ron demanded, turning on his calm friend in a sudden bout of cold fury.

"Because I was there and none of us are trained to fight Death Eaters and Voldemort." Harry replied coolly, frowning.

"But you've taken on You-Know-Who billions of times!" Ron returned angrily. He towered over Harry, trying to seem imposing.

"May I be blunt, _Ronald_?" Harry hissed, saying Ron's full name nastily as his hold on his temper cracked. "While I was in a public place like St. Mungo's, I was a fairly easy target. Once I'd left, Voldemort needed waste lives and power on all the Aurors and it left our side with one less person to protect. I may be able to face Voldemort and survive, yes, but only by luck. It's not magic I use to get away from Voldemort again and again. It's split second appearances and other outside help that keeps saving me. Get it through your head. I'm not some great wizard. I'm not some amazing little man. I'm a boy with people protecting him every time he turns around and a hell of a lot of luck!" Harry's emerald gaze was clouded with cruel hatred and anger, mostly aimed at himself. Once he'd finished his heated speech, he turned and stalked from the room, no doubt heading for his room.

"Now there's a performance even Snape would be proud of..." Fred muttered, awestruck. George and Remus just nodded as the room's five occupants stared at the doorway in shock.

* * *

The portrait of Phineas Nigellus frowned at Harry as the famous boy pulled out a cold silver blade and pulled off one of his wrist cuffs, to show a mass of thin red lines. "You know, Harry, we've been over this. Cutting yourself is not the way to relieve your stress...."

"Shut up." Harry shot back in an empty voice, bringing the blade down to add another short, jagged line. Blood blossomed from it and Harry smirked up at the man. Phineas and Harry had come to a simple understanding when Harry first came to Grimmauld Place at the beginning of the summer. Harry wouldn't full-out try and kill himself, and Phineas wouldn't tell anyone else what the boy was doing when he stormed off to his rooms.

Phineas sighed at the boy who had settled on the bed with his bleeding arm. "What happened _this_ time to set you off?"

Harry settled back against the wall, eyes on the blood dripping to his dark bedspread. "I took my anger out on Ron. Yelled at him when it wasn't his fault, even if he was being a git about this whole bloody thing."

"Whole bloody thing?"

"Voldemort attacking near St. Mungo's and us being brought back here."

Phineas rolled his eyes. "You're hopeless. How many times must I remind you that you do not need to blame yourself for the stupidity of others?" The man in the picture was well used to Harry's actions by now.

"Shut up, before I burn your bloody picture." Harry shot back coldly.

"How many times have you threatened that?"

"This time I'm serious."

"And how many times have you said _that_?"

"I mean it."

Phineas snorted. "Whatever. Thanks for the warning, but, if you burn my picture here, I'll have to go tell Dumbledore what you've been doing to yourself."

"I hate Slytherins." Harry sneered, licking the blood from his wrist and putting the cuff back on, making sure the wound was hidden.

"Watch it. You almost were one." Phineas sniggered as Harry put the knife away.

The timing was perfect, on Harry's part. As soon as the drawer Harry kept the knife in closed, someone knocked on the door. Harry froze. Phineas sniggered again before disappearing from his picture. The knock came again, but this time Remus' voice accompanied it. "Harry? Are you okay?"

Harry breathed a sigh of relief and went to open the door for the man. "Remus. Are the others still downstairs?"

Remus frowned at him. "Yes...." He reached up and brushed at some red liquid on Harry's face. When some came off on his finger, he sniffed it, then looked at Harry seriously, showing the boy his finger. "Harry, why is there blood on your face?" he whispered, eyes searching.

Harry attempted a grin and forced his voice to be light. "Vampire instincts, Remus. I suppose I was bit one night while I was sleeping." He joked.

"Don't you lie to me, Harry James Potter. I'll not have it." Remus said in warning, not at all caught by the joke.

"I'm not lyin-" Harry was cut off by a shout from downstairs.

"We'll finish this later." Remus hissed before turning and running back down to the kitchen.

Harry leaned against the door frame and took a deep breath, a shaking hand pressed to his closed eyes. "Let him forget. _Please_ let him forget...."

* * *

Remus ran into the kitchen to find Moody, Tonks, and Charlie there with his original four guests. "Oh. Hullo."

Charlie smiled at Remus. "The alert has been lifted. Everyone can return now."

"Wonderful!" Harry smiled brightly from behind Remus.

"You all go ahead. Harry and I will join you shortly." Remus smiled slightly, clapping a hand down on Harry's shoulder as the boy attempted to slide past his guardian. "Harry and I have something we need to talk about." Harry, not wanting to let everyone else in the room know about his secret, nodded in agreement, fighting to keep the smile pasted to his face.

"You sure you don't want one of us to stay, Lupin?" Moody inquired, looking Harry over quickly with his magical eye. Harry shifted his arms behind his back, as if that would hide them.

"No, no, Mad-Eye. This is one of those parent things. We'll be right along." Remus offered a thin smile.

"All right, then." Moody turned to the others. "Go on, then. Charlie, you'll be first, then the twins. Ronald and Ginevra will go next, followed by Tonks. I'll bring up the rear." He finished as Charlie was gone with a smile to Harry.

The twins followed their brother, waving at Harry with matching grins. "Good luck with the parent thing, mate!"

Harry and Ron's gazes met briefly before Ron was ushered into the blaze. The red-head's gaze was searching, maybe even a little afraid. Harry tried to make his eyes say how sorry he was for losing his temper, and hoped his best friend understood. Then Ron and Ginny were gone.

Tonks left with a wink at Harry and a soft warning to Remus to "Take it easy on the boy."

Moody gave the two standing in the doorway a last look-over before he, too, was gone.

Harry turned to look at Remus, who didn't look too happy. "Remus?" He mumbled nervously.

Laughter filled the room. Both wizards turned to look at the picture Phineas Nigellus now sat in, laughing at them. "I told you, didn't I?" He snickered, pointing at Harry, once he knew he had their attention. "I told you that you'd get caught without me telling!"

"Phineas, if you don't shut up, I swear I'll set fire to that bloody picture this very moment." Harry hissed through clenched teeth, eyes glittering with a hateful green fire.

Phineas shrugged. "Go right ahead. Can't stop me now, can you." The man told Harry before turning to Remus. "I'd suggest you have him take off those horrid wrist cuffs. They're a dreadful fashion statement!" He laughed again before leaving the picture, probably for his other one upstairs.

Remus grabbed Harry's arm as the boy tried to get away. "Harry," his voice was concerned for his godson, not angry, as it had been earlier. "What are you hiding from me?"

"Nothing." Harry muttered to the floor, refusing to meet Remus' silvery gaze.

Remus lifted Harry's wrist. When Harry didn't fight him, he pulled off the wrist cuff and couldn't help but gasp at the mass of red lines. The newest one had begun bleeding again. "Oh, Harry...." Remus whispered, pulling the boy into a tight hug. Harry, glad he hadn't been yelled at, buried his face in the werewolf's robe.

They stayed like that for quite a while before Remus pushed the boy away just enough to meet the emerald orbs that were so like Lily's. "Is this because of Sirius?"

Harry froze, wondering if he could use that excuse. "Well-"

"The truth, Harry. I want the whole truth this time." Remus cut in seriously, letting Harry go.

Harry took a deep breath, mind racing. "Mad-Eye and the others are probably wondering where we are. They might even come looking for us," he cautioned.

"Well, if they do, I'll just have to tell them that you're grounded." Remus countered.

"What?! Since when?"

"Since you've refused to tell me what's going on."

"I can't even go see Bill?!"

"That's right."

"But...Remus..." Harry tried, knowing it was hopeless. Remus answered the plea by crossing his arms and giving Harry a piercing look. "Fine. I'm going to my room." Harry turned to leave the kitchen.

"Wait." Remus' hand touched Harry's shoulder lightly and the boy paused. "Whatever it is you've been using to hurt yourself will be handed over to me now."

"Fine." Harry pulled away coldly, trying to not lose his temper for the second time that day. "Come get it yourself. I don't care." He stormed up to his room, Remus following. When they got to the bedroom, Harry pulled the knife from its hiding place and handed it to Remus with a blank expression.

"Thank you." Remus pocketed the knife. "I'll be in the kitchen if you decide you want to talk all of a sudden." With that, he left Harry to stare around the dark room hollowly.

After a long moment of blank staring, Harry turned on his trunk. "Well...." He muttered to himself before walking up to it and opening it. "I suppose...." He knelt and started shifting through his things.

"What are you up to now, Harry?" Phineas had returned.

"Nothing much." Harry shrugged, pulling his invisibility cloak, Firebolt, a lily necklace of his mother's, and an old, worn cloak of Sirius' from his trunk. He threw Sirius' cloak over his shoulders and put the necklace on, tucking it under his clothing, before standing.

Phineas frowned down at his young charge. "You'd better not be leaving this house, Harry."

"Twenty points to picture boy. See ya later." Harry, and his smirk, disappeared under the cloak.

Phineas, knowing he wouldn't be able to talk Harry out of this if he didn't know where the boy was, immediately set off through the portraits of the house to where Remus sat in the kitchen. "Harry....Invisibility cloak...." he gasped.

"What?!" Remus stood quickly.

Before either man could even blink, both heard the door in the hall slam shut. Remus and Phineas stared at one another in shock as Mrs. Black started screaming her head off.

"I'll go inform Dumbledore, then. I wish he hadn't taken that certain cloak of Sirius'...we might have had a chance of catching him with that Locator Charm Dumbledore placed on him...." Phineas groaned tiredly. Remus nodded and pulled his cloak tighter around him, readying himself to Apparate into St. Mungo's. "And don't tell anyone about him cutting himself! It'll only make it worse!" Phineas shouted as he hurried off. Remus nodded to the empty room and, with a 'BANG,' was gone.

* * *

A/N: I never did much like this chapter, I have to tell you. Too much is happening. [sighes] Oh well. Next chappie will be better. Draco makes an appearance. [grins] And I swear I'll start on it soon!!

To all my reviewers: THANK YOU!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! [hands out cookies and milk]

I'm sorry this took so long.... I know I promised to have it out two weeks ago, but push came to shove and my compie's on the fritz(again) and then the 3rd movie came out and I was dealing with Standardized Tests and then school ended and then I just got plain lazy and this is a beautiful run-on sentence and all but I think I'm going to stop so I can breathe. [groans] Never promise to have something out by a set date, the world works against you to make sure it never happens.  
Many thanks to my lil sis for betaing this chappie!!!  
Oh, and my lil sis was tellin' the truth when she said I've written more than I've typed up and posted. I'm currently writing Chapter 12(Change) and am nearly out of pages in this notebook. Of course, Chapter 8(Summer Changes, _note that title may change_) was never written.... [annoyed look] I realized I needed that chapter for plot development, assuming I even HAVE a bloody plot!! [seethes] So, yeah, chappie 8'll take a while, since it's coming out of thin air and will probably be revised by myself 25-billion times before being posted. You have been forewarned.....  
And I am blabbing. Forgive me. Till next chappie, and keep up the reviews!!

Batsutousai

Next Chapter: The Tarnished Golden Boy


	5. The Tarnished Golden Boy

**Title: **Harry Potter: Face-to-Face with an Adult's Destiny**  
Chapter Title:** "The Tarnished Golden Boy"**  
Author:** Hitokiri Batsutousai**  
Rating:** PG-13 - R**  
Warnings:** Slash/yaoi, blood, cutting, Voldemort's evile intentions(Category unto itself.)**  
Pairings:** Remus/Sirius and others(I'll post them after the first chapter that they appear in the story.)**  
Summary:** Fifth year is over, and Sirius is gone. Now Harry knows his destiny; to kill, or be killed. How can Harry cope?**  
Disclaimer:** I'm gonna say I own Harry Potter until you lot decide I don't, k?(I hate Disclaimers….)

**A/N:** And Draco appears!! [dances]

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Draco Malfoy had gotten bored with his manor and had decided to visit the Muggle world, a habit of his that he knew his father must _never_ learn of. He wore black jeans and a cool green shirt with a silver snake wrapped around it. His blonde hair, which was just touching his shoulders, had not been slicked back for once and hung lazily around his face, moving in the occasional blast of warm summer wind.

Draco did a double-take. Harry Potter, the boy who was on the very top of the boy's father's master's most wanted list, was sitting outside a Muggle ice cream shop, in broad daylight, eating ice cream. His Firebolt leaned against his chair lightly and he was dressed in a ragged cloak with a pair of blue Muggle jeans and a large red t-shirt underneath. A pile of bags sat before him on the table from various shops in the vicinity. He looked, at first glance, like a perfectly peaceful wizard. But, upon further inspection, and perhaps knowing the Boy-Who-Lived far too well, Draco noticed the cut up wrist and troubled eyes.

The blonde Slytherin stepped over to the black-haired Gryffindor and sat at Harry's table. "Well, well. If it isn't the famous Potty. What might you be doing all alone out here, Potty? Hoping to get killed?"

"I suppose that would make everyone's lives easier." Harry shrugged. "I might need some help, though. Every time I try it myself, it fails." He looked pointedly at his marked wrist.

Draco stared at the other young wizard, shocked. "Are you _drunk_, Potter?" He finally managed.

Harry shrugged again. "Not unless someone spiked my ice cream, no."

"Have you gone _mental_, Potter?"

"Probably."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" For a reason unknown to even himself, Draco was starting to worry about Harry. This was nothing like the Boy-Who-Lived that Draco knew and hated.

Harry sighed and looked at Draco warily. "Everything, if you must know. Remus found out about this," he held up his wrist, "and grounded me, but that's only a small part of it."

"Remus?"

"Lupin."

"Why are you staying with him?"

"My godfather left me in his care when he died."

"Oh." Draco settled his chin in the palm of his hand. "Other than the werewolf, what's wrong?"

Harry gave the blonde a slightly annoyed look at the insult to his second godfather, but answered the other boy anyway. "I got into a fight with Rom and can't go see if Bill's okay. And, yeah, Voldemort's still after my blood." Harry looked around with a suddenly interested look as Draco gaped at him. "Speaking of old snake-face, aren't you or your father going to call him here?"

Draco shook his head, trying to sort Harry's words out as he answered him. "Father's not here and I have no contact with the Dark Lord." He met Harry's empty eyes. "What did you and the Weasel fight about, and what's all this about a guy named Bill?"

"Oh, Ron and I fought about Voldemort's attack on St. Mungo's and us having to leave. And don't call him that." Harry added as an afterthought. "Bill is one of the elder Weasleys. He works at Gringotts. But, he got hurt last night in an attack by the Death Eaters. Remus won't let me visit him at St. Mungo's again until I tell him why I was hurting myself."

Draco stored all of the information away for later and attacked Harry's last statement. "Why _were_ you hurting yourself?"

Harry shook his head. "Can't tell."

"Why not?"

Harry paused for a brief moment to consider his response before speaking, something Draco hadn't seen the boy do very often. "Well, two reasons, I guess. One, because it sounds kind of stupid, and two, because it could get some people into trouble."

Draco leaned back in his chair, watching the Potter. "It's times like this that I really wish I had some Veritaserum on me."

Harry offered a lopsided smile. "It's times like this I'm glad you don't."

"Wait, maybe I have some in one of these pockets…" Draco smirked, going through his pockets under the table. He glanced up at a terrified and pale Harry when the boy let out a squeak. "I'm joking, Potter!" Draco held up his empty hands, shocked. Definitely not the Potter he'd known from school. "I haven't got any. I swear it on my honour as a Malfoy."

Harry took a few deep breaths to calm down. "Sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Ice cream?"

"What?"

"Would you like to get some ice cream? I was going to go get another bowl, since this one's all gone." Harry showed his unlikely companion his empty bowl.

"I don't carry around Muggle money, Potter." Draco sneered.

"That's why I'll pay." Harry stood. "What flavour do you want?"

Draco blinked in shock, an emotion Harry seemed to be shoving at him at every turn. "Whatever you're having, I suppose…"

"Alright. I'll be right back." The boy disappeared into the store.

Draco glanced at the bags Harry had on the table. Most of it was food that would keep for a few days. He pulled out a small, sheathed knife and frowned at it. The most surprising part was that everything appeared to be from the Muggle world. Harry may have spent the majority of his life in said world, but it didn't make sense that Harry, saviour of the wizarding world, would want to live any sort of Muggle life when he had the chance of a wizard one. Not to Draco, at least.

Harry came back out and set the ice cream bowls on the table before snatching the knife from Draco's hand. "It's not polite to go through other people's stuff, Malfoy. Didn't you learn that when you were a toddler?"

"Potter, what are you playing at? What's all this for?" Draco inquired as the darker-haired wizard sat in his chair and set the knife in a pocket.

Harry put a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth and let it melt as he thought. "Everywhere I go, Voldemort hunts. Everyone I'm with, is in danger of being attacked. I'm best of disappearing into this world, this Muggle world. I know it so well, and I have enough money to take care of myself for a long while, assuming I live that long."

"This is foolish." Draco hissed, ignoring his ice cream and leaning across the table to glare at Harry better. "You're being stupid, Potter. Get back to your home, our world. I'll drag you, if I have to."

"You don't know where I live."

"Then I'll take you to my house and send an owl to Lupin or Dumbledore, you fool."

As Harry opened his mouth to reply, a thick male voice cut through the air angrily. "What are you doing here, boy?!"

Harry flinched before turning to face a large purple-faced man, a thin, horse-like woman, and a gigantic boy. "Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, Dudley." He nodded to them.

The purple-faced man strolled over to their table coldly. The boy and woman stayed as far away from the two young wizards as they could. "Why aren't you in your world with that ragged man that came to pick you up? Tired of getting people killed with your dementy-things and your Lord Voldybort?" He laughed cruelly.

Draco glanced at Harry, fully expecting to see the boy rise to the insult. Harry, on the other hand, was staring avidly at his ice cream, but not eating it.

"Answer me, boy." Vernon ordered, settling a large hand on the back of Harry's neck and squeezing tightly. Harry's face scrunched up in pain.

Draco narrowed his silvery gaze dangerously at the cruel smirk on the Muggle's face. "Let him go, you." He said in a low, dangerous voice. That was no way for a Muggle to treat a wizard, let alone Harry Potter!

Vernon laughed at the young Malfoy. "And what might you do, boy?" Harry let out a barely audible whimper.

"Blow your arm off." Draco pulled out his wand smoothly and pointed it at the man. Vernon had stopped laughing and was paling quickly, but he hadn't let Harry go. "I said, let him go. Now." Draco repeated sharply.

Vernon let Harry go, pushing his head into the table as if Harry were something most unpleasant, all the while watching Draco's wand warily. "The little whore isn't worth it," Vernon sneered before leaving the two young wizards for his family.

Draco stood and hurried over to Harry's side, stuffing his wand back into his pocket as he went. "Potter. Are you alright?"

Harry glanced up. His glasses were broken and there was a thin line of blood traveling down from his forehead. "I'll be fine," he muttered, wiping at the blood with a napkin.

Draco made a face. "You should get contacts. They don't break all the time."

"They're a bloody pain to deal with."

"Not magical ones."

Harry stared at Draco for a long moment. "And where might one find some of those?"

Draco smirked. "I only help out Hogwarts students."

"Tricky little bastard, aren't you?"

"Will you agree to come back?"

Harry looked over his things quietly before looking back up at Draco. "Fine. Let's go." He stood, grabbing one bag and his broom.

"What's in the bag, Potter?" Draco questioned, leading the way to an eye place that dealt in magical contacts.

"My secret." Harry returned with a smirk.

"Suit yourself." Draco threw an arm around Harry's shoulders in a way that was both friendly and possessive at the same time.

"Ah, Malfoy?"

"Deal with it, Potter. You're my job right now. You don't want to be Harry Potter, fine. You can be someone else for a while. We'll get you contacts, change that dreadful hair, hide your scar… You'll be safe with me. Let the rest of the wizarding world worry over Gryffindor's Golden Boy. From here on out, at least until school starts, you are Raymond Ling."

"Raymond Ling?!" Harry asked Draco, barely controlling a grin and the urge to laugh.

"Problem?"

"No, no… Just, where do you come up with these things, Malfoy?"

"I'm creative, okay?" Draco said defensively.

Harry tossed an arm back over Draco's shoulder. "You're fine, Draco. You're fine."

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**A/N:** I decided I've been updating Abandon too much. Not that anyone should mind… [sighes] Abandon is easier to write. It's because it's coming out of no where, I suppose. Top of my head. This thing is already written down and kinda tedious and boring to type up.  
Anyway, Severus comes in next chapter, and even Lucius gets a small part! Yay! It's a bloody long chapter, too. I'm going to hate typing it up, but I'll do it for you all. Right? [winks]

**LunaLovegood61:** Girl, you're keeping me on my toes! [grins] I love it!  
You have to remember that Harry's been spending a while with Remus. There was that rather large(more like undetermined) time period between chapters 3 and 4. And Remus has been kinda fatherly in the series. Kinda.  
Well, silver or not, it would have had a handle, and the proper way to hand a knife to someone is handle first. [nods] We'll just say that the handle was wood or plastic and leave it there…

Keep up those reviews, damnit! [grins]

Batsutousai

Next Chapter: Raymond Ling – The Truth About Harry Potter


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